The Family Legacy’s Protective Wisdom

Proverbs 7:
4. Say unto wisdom, Thou art my sister; and call understanding thy kinswoman:
5. That they may keep thee from the strange woman, from the stranger which flattereth with her words.

In these two verses we have the contrast of two kinds of women. The first is a close relative like ones own sister. This woman, because she is of ones own kind and kindred, appeals to our kindness and natural affection. We protect her person and her honor. We value her presence and promote her wellbeing. It is interesting that wisdom is not here compared to ones wife. Why is that? Most likely it is because the person being exhorted and cautioned is not married, but single. He can’t relate to the affections associated with marriage in his own experience, but he does have relatives that he cherishes.

The second woman is just the opposite. He doesn’t really know her. She is a stranger to him but for some reason she has taken an interest in him. She speaks to him. She flatters him. She makes him feel important and increases his sense of self worth, if for no other reason that she notices him. What would his sister or other close relative say if she observed what was happening? She would become indignant and alarmed and warn him against the designs of such a woman. She sees what is going on and the danger to which he seems to be oblivious. How would he respond to his sister/kinswoman’s counsel? This proverb means nothing to the person who does not value and honor his sister. To such, to compare his sister with wisdom would cause him to say, “Huh?” This proverb assumes a natural affection and bond within the family. But there is something else going on here. While it is necessary it is not sufficient to hate and avoid evil, because our fallen nature is prone to feel an attraction even to those things that we hate.

“For that which I do I allow not: for what I would, that do I not; but what I hate, that do I. If then I do that which I would not, I consent unto the law that it is good. Now then it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me. For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not. For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do. Now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me. I find then a law, that, when I would do good, evil is present with me.” (Romans 7:15-20)

If we don’t recognize this battle within us, and our own vulnerabilities, then we are self-deceived. What is necessary is for us to also desire and value that which is good, hence the comparison with ones own sister. This is where a robust Family Legacy that is committed to the Kingdom of God comes in. Your family looks out for your wellbeing and watches your back and you know it and value it and you do the same for them.

A Family Legacy and Self-Government

Proverbs 6:
6. Go to the ant, thou sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise:
7. Which having no guide, overseer, or ruler,
8. Provideth her meat in the summer, and gathereth her food in the harvest.

Here is an interesting admonition. We have already noted in two places (Proverbs 12:1 and 30:2) that a man is considered to be like an animal when he acts without reasonable thought. Here we have the sluggard who not only doesn’t think, he also doesn’t act. The way he lives is worse than the animals and so he is sent to them to learn the importance of acting!

Now we all know that ants don’t think or plan or draw conclusions based on the weather patterns they observe. God created them to do what they do by instinct. Yet the fact that they do them, and their actions are the means for their survival, is an important lesson for us because we can observe and learn and plan. Actions have consequences.

Another interesting observation is that ants are organized into colonies where there is a division of labor, yet they are not directed by a guide, overseer or ruler. Here we are to learn, not that it would be good for us to operate on the basis of instinct, but rather that we need to learn to work on the basis of self-government.

"Men, in a word, must necessarily be controlled either by a power within them or by a power without them; either by the Word of God or by the strong arm of man; either by the Bible or by the bayonet." [Robert Winthrop, Speaker of the U. S. House]

It is not just that we need to show initiative, but that we need to learn to show initiative in doing the right thing. This self-government and self-direction is not only a learned discipline, but it proceeds from a heart and mind directed by God’s Word. This is the parents’ role in building a Family Legacy.

“And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4)

This nurture and admonition of children is for the purpose of maturing them into adults whose self-government is directed by faith in and obedience to the Word of God. This is the stuff of which enduring Family Legacies are made.

A Family Legacy of Discretion

Proverbs 5:
1. My son, attend unto my wisdom, and bow thine ear to my understanding:
2. That thou mayest regard discretion, and that thy lips may keep knowledge.

The word discretion [mezimmah], as used here, carries the meaning of “being in charge of ones own decision making, taking responsibility, not impulsive,” such as in: “The decision was left to his own discretion.” In some places this same Hebrew word carries the meaning of evil devices.

“He that deviseth to do evil shall be called a mischievous [mezimmah] person.” (Proverbs 24:8)

The word as used in the context of our proverb today does not allow for these negative implications and Webster’s 1828 Dictionary provides a helpful definition of discretion.

“Prudence, or knowledge and prudence; that discernment which enables a person to judge critically of what is correct and proper, united with caution; nice discernment and judgment, directed by circumspection, and primarily regarding one’s own conduct.”

And where does this discernment of good and evil come from? It comes from the Word of God.

“For when for the time ye ought to be teachers, ye have need that one teach you again which be the first principles of the oracles of God; and are become such as have need of milk, and not of strong meat. For every one that useth milk is unskilful in the word of righteousness: for he is a babe. But strong meat belongeth to them that are of full age, even those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil.” (Hebrews 5:12-14)

It is interesting that discernment is so closely connected with maturity, and this is exactly what we are trying to achieve in our Family Legacy, a next generation does not think and act like children, but like mature men and women.

A Multi-Generational Family Legacy

Proverbs 4:
1. Hear, ye children, the instruction of a father, and attend to know understanding.
2. For I give you good doctrine, forsake ye not my law.
3. For I was my father's son, tender and only beloved in the sight of my mother.
4. He taught me also, and said unto me, Let thine heart retain my words: keep my commandments, and live.

Isn’t this a beautiful picture of multi-generational instruction? Isn’t this what an enduring Family Legacy is all about – passing wisdom on from one generation to the next? And because it is wisdom being passed on, all the benefits that attend wisdom go with it! Now it may be true that your father did not leave you a legacy of wisdom, but that doesn’t need to stop you from starting now! Perhaps in your distant past there was faithful instruction, but it was totally gone by the time of your father. Do not despair. Hezekiah’s father, Ahaz was a wicked king and yet Hezekiah could reach back to his fore fathers, David and Solomon and resurrect righteousness.

“Now . . . Hezekiah the son of Ahaz king of Judah . . . Twenty and five years old was he when he began to reign . . . And he did that which was right in the sight of the LORD, according to all that David his father did. He removed the high places, and brake the images, and cut down the groves, and brake in pieces the brasen serpent that Moses had made: for unto those days the children of Israel did burn incense to it . . . He trusted in the LORD God of Israel; so that after him was none like him among all the kings of Judah, nor any that were before him. For he clave to the LORD, and departed not from following him, but kept his commandments, which the LORD commanded Moses. And the LORD was with him; and he prospered whithersoever he went forth:” (2 Kings 18:1-7a)

Notice that is was not really David and Solomon to which Hezekiah returned, but rather to faith in the LORD God. This is why you can do it too, from whatever moral condition you find yourself and your family, by faith in Jesus Christ and obedience to his commands, because through the power of his resurrection he makes all things new.

Family Legacy – A Benefit in this Life

Proverbs 3:
1. My son, forget not my law; but let thine heart keep my commandments:
2. For length of days, and long life, and peace, shall they add to thee.

One of the aspects of obedience that many overlook is that it has benefits in this life. Too often the primary reasons we give for obeying is, “It is the right thing to do,” or “Because I said so.” These are not the kind of reasons given in this proverb. The reasons given for obeying, not just outwardly, but from the heart, are things that everyone desires: length of days, long life and peace. This theme is repeated throughout the Book of Proverbs

“Happy is the man that findeth wisdom, and the man that getteth understanding . . . Length of days is in her right hand; and in her left hand riches and honour. Her ways are ways of pleasantness, and all her paths are peace. She is a tree of life to them that lay hold upon her: and happy is every one that retaineth her.” (Proverbs 3:13,16-18)

Look at this list: happiness, long life, riches, honor, pleasant experiences and peace. These are things that even the wicked desire and seek and often people like us criticize and condemn them for it. But if obedience is the way for the wicked to get the very things they desire, why don’t they obey? - Because they don’t believe it. They believe these benefits come by the exercise of power. The odd thing is that often we don’t believe it either, and this is revealed when we are embarrassed to express any desire for riches and honor. But the Book of Proverbs is not embarrassed to identify these things as desirable and even use them as incentives for doing the right thing. We should too. This is an important way to encourage our children to do the right thing and to encourage them in building a Family Legacy. An enduring Family Legacy is one of those benefits of obedience that is experienced in this life.

A Family Legacy’s Principle of Success

Proverbs 2:
3. Yea, if thou criest after knowledge, and liftest up thy voice for understanding;
4. If thou seekest her as silver, and searchest for her as for hid treasures;
5. Then shalt thou understand the fear of the LORD, and find the knowledge of God.
6. For the LORD giveth wisdom: out of his mouth cometh knowledge and understanding.

These verses are intended to communicate to us the exceeding value of knowledge, understanding and wisdom by comparing it to silver and hidden treasures. This silver and hidden treasure is considered to be so desirable that is to be sought after and searched for. This is not easy to gather low hanging fruit, but rather requires blood, toil, sweat and tears to obtain. But what if a person is so “spiritual” that they do not value silver and hid treasure and would not waste a minute of their time pursuing or preserving either one? To them that’s crass materialism. Well, if they think that, then it would seem that “spiritual” person could not understand what these verses are talking about. If one doesn’t value silver and hidden treasures, how can one value that for which they are the point of comparison?

Think about it. If you are mining silver from the ground, or searching for another kind of hidden treasure, it will take resources, planning, sacrifice, focus, risk and perseverance to be successful. A similar effort is required for obtaining wisdom. You have to apply yourself to the effort. But an interesting thing happens along the way. You find out that your efforts, while necessary, are not sufficient. True wisdom is a gift from God and it begins with the fear of the Lord.

“The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom: a good understanding have all they that do his commandments: his praise endureth for ever.” (Psalm 111:10)

Do you see how the fear of God and understanding is closely related to obeying his commandments?

“Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man. For God shall bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether it be good, or whether it be evil.” (Ecclesiates 12:13-14)

And the New Testament says the same thing.

“And this is his commandment, That we should believe on the name of his Son Jesus Christ, and love one another, as he gave us commandment.” (1 John 3:23)

Here is where ones pursuit of an enduring Family Legacy must begin. The message of the Book of Proverbs is that all success in life flows from this principle.

Wisdom – A Family Legacy for Our Children

Proverbs 1:
1. The proverbs of Solomon the son of David, king of Israel;
2. To know wisdom and instruction; to perceive the words of understanding;
3. To receive the instruction of wisdom, justice, and judgment, and equity;
4. To give subtilty to the simple, to the young man knowledge and discretion.

What a wonderful thing to be able to get instruction from one of the wisest men in the world!

“Behold, I [God] have done according to thy words: lo, I have given thee [Solomon] a wise and an understanding heart; so that there was none like thee before thee, neither after thee shall any arise like unto thee.” (1 Kings 3:12)

And wisdom is the stuff that makes an enduring Family Legacy. Listen to David’s focused desires for Solomon.

“Now the days of David drew nigh that he should die; and he charged Solomon his son, saying, I go the way of all the earth: be thou strong therefore, and shew thyself a man; And keep the charge of the LORD thy God, to walk in his ways, to keep his statutes, and his commandments, and his judgments, and his testimonies, as it is written in the law of Moses, that thou mayest prosper in all that thou doest, and whithersoever thou turnest thyself: That the LORD may continue his word which he spake concerning me, saying, If thy children take heed to their way, to walk before me in truth with all their heart and with all their soul, there shall not fail thee (said he) a man on the throne of Israel.” (1 Kings 2:1-4)

“And thou, Solomon my son, know thou the God of thy father, and serve him with a perfect heart and with a willing mind: for the LORD searcheth all hearts, and understandeth all the imaginations of the thoughts: if thou seek him, he will be found of thee; but if thou forsake him, he will cast thee off for ever.” (1 Chronicles 28:9)

What beautiful counsel from a dying father to his son! And this book of wise proverbs is for us so that we can do the same thing in passing on wisdom to our children for the establishment of an enduring Family Legacy.