A Family Legacy is Built with Words

Proverbs 15
1. A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.

Now every family knows the truth of this proverb from experience (at least the last part). The grievous words are what we call hot buttons. Even if the parents have matured to the point where they don’t push each other’s hot buttons, they still have to train and discipline their children to not do so either. Children know how to get under each other’s skin and they often do it on purpose. But every family knows that grievous words do not contribute to peace in the family and they can be absolutely destructive in building a Family Legacy. Words are foundational to communication and building relationships.

Now how do we develop the habit of a soft answer when we have developed a strong pattern of grievous words? We do it by strengthening the inner man.

“Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.” Proverbs 4:23)

“But those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart; and they defile the man.” (Matthew 15:18)

They also defile a Family Legacy. When we look at the progression of character traits in 2 Peter 1:5-7, we see that they begin with the inner man and work outward.

“And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge; And to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness; And to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity.”

This change in the inner man begins with faith, faith in the promises of God and therefore faith in Jesus Christ because . . .

“. . . all the promises of God in him are yea, and in him Amen, unto the glory of God by us.” (2 Corinthians 1:20)

And if we are seeking to be more and more like Christ, conformed to his image as a mature man, then that will include this.

“Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things [his own wellbeing], but every man also on the things [the wellbeing] of others. Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus . . .” (Philippians 2:3-5a)

In other words our faith is directed toward Christ, who left us an example.

The development of the inner man also includes a virtue that is added to faith, and virtue is best achieved by this . . .

“Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.” (Philippians 4:8)

When we are full of ourselves we become inconsiderate of others and we act like James describes . . .

“From whence come wars and fightings among you? come they not hence, even of your lusts that war in your members? Ye lust, and have not: ye kill, and desire to have, and cannot obtain: ye fight and war, yet ye have not, because ye ask not. Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts.” (James 4:1-3)

When we say we have to begin in the inner man this does not mean that our focus is on ourselves. Instead of being full of ourselves we must have a larger vision. Our meat and our drink must be to do God’s will and that is to establish his kingdom on the earth. This is how we are taught to pray in the Lord’s Prayer.

“Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven.” (Matthew 6:11)

And this is how we are directed to set our priorities.

“But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” (Matthew 6:33)

And this is what Jesus has given to us as our mission.

“Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world. Amen.” Matthew 28:19-20)

And when we look back at those character traits listed in 2 Peter 1, we discover that they lead directly to establishing Christ's kingdom, too!

"For so an entrance shall be ministered unto you abundantly into the everlasting kingdom of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ." (2 Peter 1:11)

This vision is the foundation for having a lasting Family Legacy.